We enter the world not knowing who we are or where we are going. We learn to manipulate our surroundings and that we have to interact with those surroundings. Our brain develops connections and we love to learn and don't forget much of anything when we are young children. We want the world around us to be fair but still look to our parents to support and guide us by giving us rules and feedback. We later begin to see our parents as holding us back and feel the need to push the limits and test the rules. Now instead of looking to our parents for answers we are looking to our friends and close social groups. We often fall victim to peer pressure and end up realizing that what our parents were telling us all along was right. Our bodies change and never stop changing. We enter young adulthood and are practicing different relationships and further developing our sense of self. Further into adulthood we often begin to start the process over with our own children however we ourselves have not yet figured everything out. Later adult hood we tend to regress back to some child like mannerisms and technology seems to be strange to us. We tend to resist change and stick to what is familiar to us. We now look to our children to take care of us instead of us taking care of them.
One thing is for sure it is not about making a good life but living the one that you have. We all have the same beginning and end but the journey is what makes us unique.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Stress and Health in Adulthood
As we go though childhood and adolescents we are learning how to cope with all sorts of situations. In turn we are learning how to cope with stress. Our ability to learn these coping mechanisms will help us when we become adults. Stress can be motivating for some adults, however too much stress can be detrimental to our health. We develop our own stress management system. There are many ways that we, as adults choose to deal with the stress of our every day lives. Some may use exercise as a means to deal with it while other may eat their stresses away. Exercise is an excellent way to deal with stress because not only are you able to relieve the psychological issues but you are helping your body stay resilient against disease and boost our immune system. As many of us know eating is not the best way to cope with stress. We tend to use foods that are filling but are not nutritious. America has become a society with more obese people. Diabetes has become increasingly common throughout our society. An increase in fat has increased the number of colon cancer, heart attack, and even breast cancer.
The older we get the more changes our body goes through. Now instead of holding the paper or book close to our face we are holding it at arms length. Our hearing becomes increasingly worse. That may be from the loud music that we enjoyed in our adolescents and even early adulthood. The older we get the more things we start to see that are going wrong with our bodies. Our bones are not as solid as they used to be and many adults, especially women, have to take calcium supplements to make up for it. For women things start sagging and do not hold up as well as they did when we were in our 20's and 30's. Reproduction is no longer possible with the help of menopause. This hormonal change is difficult for most women who can suffer hot and cold flashes as well as several weeks of bleeding at a time and at irregular patterns. Men tend to have erectile dysfunction. If you ask me we (women) got the raw end of the deal.
The older we get the more changes our body goes through. Now instead of holding the paper or book close to our face we are holding it at arms length. Our hearing becomes increasingly worse. That may be from the loud music that we enjoyed in our adolescents and even early adulthood. The older we get the more things we start to see that are going wrong with our bodies. Our bones are not as solid as they used to be and many adults, especially women, have to take calcium supplements to make up for it. For women things start sagging and do not hold up as well as they did when we were in our 20's and 30's. Reproduction is no longer possible with the help of menopause. This hormonal change is difficult for most women who can suffer hot and cold flashes as well as several weeks of bleeding at a time and at irregular patterns. Men tend to have erectile dysfunction. If you ask me we (women) got the raw end of the deal.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Relationships
Relationships play an important part our our development and the development of our children. At an early age socialization is important to our development of peer relationships. My daughter who is four will call one girl in her preschool class her best friend one day but may say that she is not her best friend the next because they had an argument. As our children get older they begin to define the different types of relationships as well as different types of peer relationships. Within our peer relationships our teenage children are looking for acceptance into a group or clique. Teenagers are looking for the type of friends that will not reject them because of a flaw and will stick by them. Parents often struggle with where the loyalty is coming from and what the intentions of the group are. Teenagers often look for those who share the same beliefs, likes and dislikes. These friendships help our teenagers develop a sense of self and help them deal with being a teenager. There are so many ups and downs in a teenagers life that they may all very well be labeled bipolar! But having a close set of friends that are your own age and can share some of the same anxieties can be helpful in making it through the rough times.
Teenage years are often when dating becomes a topic for many. Parent dread the day that their "baby girl" goes out with a boy in her class. I remember my dad threatening to clean his shot gun on our front porch when my first date was coming to pick me up. As a parent of a girl I now understand what my parents may have been thinking.
Peer pressure is now all around your children. This can be very strong within the clique. The need to belong I think really drives this. We want so badly to be a part of a group or clique that sometimes we will do almost anything. Other times we see others that are maybe part of a popular crowd engaging in a particular activity and want to follow along. Many things that we see involve clothing items such as the now popular skinny jeans or the way a particular item is worn as when I was younger with the tight rolling of the jeans. You do so because everyone else is doing it and yes you get the "If your friends jumped off a bridge would you?" lecture from your parents. I am sad to say that working with teenagers I have uttered that phase a time or two.
Parent child relationships help us feel comfortable with the peer choice that our teenagers make. We want those open communication lines so that our teens feel comfortable coming to us and talking about what is on their mind. We know that they are going to talk with their peer group or clique but if there is not open communication between the parents and the teen, the teen may wind up with the wrong information. Teens and parents do not always see eye to eye. In fact they often see things from different perspectives. For example I was the oldest and had a curfew of 9pm until I moved out of my parents house. I always thought that was crazy because my friends did not have curfews and were allowed to stay out as late as they wanted. Now looking back I know that was how my parents dealt with the safety issue. We had moved from a small town to a city and they were terrified of the types of things that I would get into later in the night.
With the changing family dynamics I think that more older teens are taking on parenting responsibilities of younger siblings. Many families have both parent working and rely on the older child to take care of the younger ones while the parent are a work. This causes the teenager to grow up a little sooner than in previous years and can often cause resentment for the parents. Again open communication will help teenagers and parents talk about how they are feeling a resolve some of those issues before they become problematic.
Teenage years are often when dating becomes a topic for many. Parent dread the day that their "baby girl" goes out with a boy in her class. I remember my dad threatening to clean his shot gun on our front porch when my first date was coming to pick me up. As a parent of a girl I now understand what my parents may have been thinking.
Peer pressure is now all around your children. This can be very strong within the clique. The need to belong I think really drives this. We want so badly to be a part of a group or clique that sometimes we will do almost anything. Other times we see others that are maybe part of a popular crowd engaging in a particular activity and want to follow along. Many things that we see involve clothing items such as the now popular skinny jeans or the way a particular item is worn as when I was younger with the tight rolling of the jeans. You do so because everyone else is doing it and yes you get the "If your friends jumped off a bridge would you?" lecture from your parents. I am sad to say that working with teenagers I have uttered that phase a time or two.
Parent child relationships help us feel comfortable with the peer choice that our teenagers make. We want those open communication lines so that our teens feel comfortable coming to us and talking about what is on their mind. We know that they are going to talk with their peer group or clique but if there is not open communication between the parents and the teen, the teen may wind up with the wrong information. Teens and parents do not always see eye to eye. In fact they often see things from different perspectives. For example I was the oldest and had a curfew of 9pm until I moved out of my parents house. I always thought that was crazy because my friends did not have curfews and were allowed to stay out as late as they wanted. Now looking back I know that was how my parents dealt with the safety issue. We had moved from a small town to a city and they were terrified of the types of things that I would get into later in the night.
With the changing family dynamics I think that more older teens are taking on parenting responsibilities of younger siblings. Many families have both parent working and rely on the older child to take care of the younger ones while the parent are a work. This causes the teenager to grow up a little sooner than in previous years and can often cause resentment for the parents. Again open communication will help teenagers and parents talk about how they are feeling a resolve some of those issues before they become problematic.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Childhood Obesity
Childhood obesity is a growing problem in America. We as parents need to be concerned not only about our children but about ourselves as well. Society has not changed its view on emphasizing thinness so why does this continue to be a growing problem? One explination is genetics. If the parents are overweight then it is more likely that the children in that family will be overweight as well. Some scientist are looking at genetics to maybe explain obesity in some. A group of French genetists and nutritionists found what they consider to be the cause of obesity. The disfunction, they believe, is within the Leptin receptors which are not regulating the fat intake well (Berk).
Another explination could be the environment that our children are growing up in. Another study conducted by Dr. Kimberly Morland looked at urban communities and the availablility of healthy foods (2002). She found that the seclection of foods in vairus neighborhoods related to the dominant race of that neighborhood. So in other words it is easier to get fried chicken and a greasy hamburger when you do not have any other alternatives. I can see this around here. I work in south Kansas City and live in a suburb. The quick places for me to grab lunch are not that healthy. They are your standard: McDonald's, Burger King, KFC, Sonic, etc. Yet closer to home I have choices like Pita Pit and Jason's Deli which have much healthier options.
Yet another explination puts the blame on technology. Our children now have more electronics than we did when we were children. Between television, video games, and the computer they have more than enough to keep them from getting up off the couch! I remember growing up and not having anything but the TV. Although that was not worth watching because you only had about 5 chanels to choose from. Many children now do not play outside they would rather sit inside and play video games or get on the computer. This causes a lack of physical activity. Especially the teenagers. They are all about the social connection and technology makes that easy for them with things like twitter and facebook.
It would seem that all of this could contribute to the rise in obesity for our children. One thing parents can do is change not only their child's eating habbits but their own. Children, especially young children, look up to their parents as role models. If we start with them when they are young and throughout middle childhood they will be more likely to make the right choices when they are teenagers. Continuing with the positive role model would be to exercise as a family. What a better way to keep yourself active and still spent time with your children. Put a limit on the video games, television, and computer so that they are forced to find alternatives to these low energy activities. This will not only help with the physical health of your child but also the emotional and cognitive health.
May 13, 2003, "More Children Are Obese, and More Americans Know It", Marjorie Connelly, New York Times
November 12, 2002, "Good Health Is Linked To Grocer", Mary Duenwald
Another explination could be the environment that our children are growing up in. Another study conducted by Dr. Kimberly Morland looked at urban communities and the availablility of healthy foods (2002). She found that the seclection of foods in vairus neighborhoods related to the dominant race of that neighborhood. So in other words it is easier to get fried chicken and a greasy hamburger when you do not have any other alternatives. I can see this around here. I work in south Kansas City and live in a suburb. The quick places for me to grab lunch are not that healthy. They are your standard: McDonald's, Burger King, KFC, Sonic, etc. Yet closer to home I have choices like Pita Pit and Jason's Deli which have much healthier options.
Yet another explination puts the blame on technology. Our children now have more electronics than we did when we were children. Between television, video games, and the computer they have more than enough to keep them from getting up off the couch! I remember growing up and not having anything but the TV. Although that was not worth watching because you only had about 5 chanels to choose from. Many children now do not play outside they would rather sit inside and play video games or get on the computer. This causes a lack of physical activity. Especially the teenagers. They are all about the social connection and technology makes that easy for them with things like twitter and facebook.
It would seem that all of this could contribute to the rise in obesity for our children. One thing parents can do is change not only their child's eating habbits but their own. Children, especially young children, look up to their parents as role models. If we start with them when they are young and throughout middle childhood they will be more likely to make the right choices when they are teenagers. Continuing with the positive role model would be to exercise as a family. What a better way to keep yourself active and still spent time with your children. Put a limit on the video games, television, and computer so that they are forced to find alternatives to these low energy activities. This will not only help with the physical health of your child but also the emotional and cognitive health.
May 13, 2003, "More Children Are Obese, and More Americans Know It", Marjorie Connelly, New York Times
November 12, 2002, "Good Health Is Linked To Grocer", Mary Duenwald
Friday, April 15, 2011
Parenting Styles
One thing that comes to mind about morality is parenting styles. I have heard several times from the people that I work with, "when I was a kid my parents would smack me for saying something like that!" However I wonder how much of that is exaggeration. I think that most of us want what is best for our children. When they are born we instantly love our children. Those adorable tiny fingers and toes. We are not thinking about how we are going to discipline them. We are thinking about how we are going to get sleep later! As our children get older we have to set limits and boundaries. We do our best to keep them safe by not letting them jump off furniture or out of a tree. The time always comes that we have to decide how we are going to enforce our rules. When our children do something wrong many of us have a first reaction of "what are you thinking?" The hardest part is keeping your cool and not going overboard. Studies show that children respond better to someone who is warm, caring and consistent. The best way for a child not to repeat a behavior is to not only reinforce the behavior you want them to display but to tell the reason behind you wanting the change. Even my four year old will remember what I have told her about things that could possible hurt her. When we become punishing in our parenting style it is not that effective. Harsh punishments give children aggressive models. Remember when you were younger and your parents would punish you? Did repeat the behavior or did you just get better at hiding it? We want to reinforce the positive behaviors with our children. This will increase the likelihood that this particular behavior will be repeated. What type of discipline we use with our children now will likely be passed on to our own children. Now I am not saying that we should talk our children out of the middle of the street when a car is coming. I am going to grab my children out of the street before they get hit! There are times that we will be strict and use punishment. We just need to make sure that we are always talking to our children.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Attachment
Why is attachment so important to our development? For infants it involves a sense of security and protection. The type of attachment affects our interactions later on in life and even the attachment to our own children. A secure attachment gives us healthy boundaries and social skills later on in life. Yet a disorganized/disoriented attachment can be detrimental to our social interactions. Infants who have a loving and caring parent/caregiver will develop secure attachment. However an infant who has a parent/caregiver that ignores them and even yells at them will develop disorganized/disoriented attachment. Infants who suffer abuse and neglect will also have this type of attachment. So lets talk about those infants that have developed a disorganized/disoriented attachment, does this mean that they are stuck with that type of attachment throughout their life? Can it be changed or improved? Absolutely! Over time the attachment type can be changed for anyone. Those who grew up not able to trust their parents/caregivers can develop a secure attachment with another caregiver. However the older a child gets the more difficult it may be to change. After a certain age I believe that you are no longer working on their attachment but rather the attachment they will develop with their own children.
When we do not get the bonds that we need in infancy and even childhood we will look for it in other places. Think about teenagers who as a young child did not get what they needed from their parents/caregivers they will look for it in someone else (most often in a romantic relationship). In today's society it is all too common for teenagers to have babies. Many teenagers are not ready for the responsibility of parenting a child, but maybe they are looking for the attachment that they did not get with they were younger. However what they may not be aware of is that the response that parents/caregivers has a big impact on the type of attachment that is developed. The attachment that may develop here could account for the increase in the number of children with behavior problems.
So how can we change the attachment that has already been put into place? Many can benefit from therapy. There are many programs available that could affect the interactions between parents/caregivers and their children. Most of all it takes time and patience.
When we do not get the bonds that we need in infancy and even childhood we will look for it in other places. Think about teenagers who as a young child did not get what they needed from their parents/caregivers they will look for it in someone else (most often in a romantic relationship). In today's society it is all too common for teenagers to have babies. Many teenagers are not ready for the responsibility of parenting a child, but maybe they are looking for the attachment that they did not get with they were younger. However what they may not be aware of is that the response that parents/caregivers has a big impact on the type of attachment that is developed. The attachment that may develop here could account for the increase in the number of children with behavior problems.
So how can we change the attachment that has already been put into place? Many can benefit from therapy. There are many programs available that could affect the interactions between parents/caregivers and their children. Most of all it takes time and patience.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Brain development continued
I attended an informational training last week on Aspergers. During the talk our clinical director explained that she was fortunate to be able to see, microscopically, the brain learn something new. We are told that in order to really learn something that we have to repeat or practice it. What is interesting is that she could actually see the dendrites connect. She said it was like taking your flattened hand and pointing the fingers towards each other. She stated that the fingers "would move in and out and then you could finally see them interlock". She said it was as if the brain had clicked and just got it. The opposite took place when someone was unlearning a coping skill or behavior.
Even better we have researchers that are taking images of the human brain to find out what the differences are in may types of disorders and diseases. Dr. Daniel Amen is one who uses SPECT imaging scans to document the areas of the brain that are stimulated for different disorders or diseases. For example you can look at what a "normal" brain would look like and then one from someone who has been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder before and after medication ( www.amenclinics.com).
We can see from others research that our brain holds many answers to our development. Think about if we are able to scan children's brains at birth to see if they have a genetic related disease. We would be able to help those children better and more effectively at an earlier age. Disorders such as Autism or Asperger's may not be as difficult to treat as it is now.
http://www.amenclinics.com/brain-science/spect-image-gallery/spect-atlas/
Even better we have researchers that are taking images of the human brain to find out what the differences are in may types of disorders and diseases. Dr. Daniel Amen is one who uses SPECT imaging scans to document the areas of the brain that are stimulated for different disorders or diseases. For example you can look at what a "normal" brain would look like and then one from someone who has been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder before and after medication ( www.amenclinics.com).
We can see from others research that our brain holds many answers to our development. Think about if we are able to scan children's brains at birth to see if they have a genetic related disease. We would be able to help those children better and more effectively at an earlier age. Disorders such as Autism or Asperger's may not be as difficult to treat as it is now.
http://www.amenclinics.com/brain-science/spect-image-gallery/spect-atlas/
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