Attachment

Why is attachment so important to our development?  For infants it involves a sense of security and protection.  The type of attachment affects our interactions later on in life and even the attachment to our own children.  A secure attachment gives us healthy boundaries and social skills later on in life.  Yet a disorganized/disoriented attachment can be detrimental to our social interactions.  Infants who have a loving and caring parent/caregiver will develop secure attachment.  However an infant who has a parent/caregiver that ignores them and even yells at them will develop disorganized/disoriented attachment.  Infants who suffer abuse and neglect will also have this type of attachment.  So lets talk about those infants that have developed a disorganized/disoriented attachment, does this mean that they are stuck with that type of attachment throughout their life?  Can it be changed or improved?  Absolutely!  Over time the attachment type can be changed for anyone.  Those who grew up not able to trust their parents/caregivers can develop a secure attachment with another caregiver.  However the older a child gets the more difficult it may be to change.  After a certain age I believe that you are no longer working on their attachment but rather the attachment they will develop with their own children.

When we do not get the bonds that we need in infancy and even childhood we will look for it in other places.  Think about teenagers who as a young child did not get what they needed from their parents/caregivers they will look for it in someone else (most often in a romantic relationship).  In today's society it is all too common for teenagers to have babies.  Many teenagers are not ready for the responsibility of parenting a child, but maybe they are looking for the attachment that they did not get with they were younger.  However what they may not be aware of is that the response that parents/caregivers has a big impact on the type of attachment that is developed.  The attachment that may develop here could account for the increase in the number of children with behavior problems. 

So how can we change the attachment that has already been put into place?  Many can benefit from therapy.  There are many programs available that could affect the interactions between parents/caregivers and their children.  Most of all it takes time and patience.